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Pills are the past!

About 8 years ago I had a fall at work and was injured pretty badly, enough to need surgery. Prior to surgery I was on a strict regiment of narcotic medication. After 2 years and 2 surgeries I was still constantly using the narcotic medication; I had become addicted to it, but was still unaware that I had. I was released from the doctors care and found myself seeking out doctors willing to write me what I wanted. At one point I was seeing 3 different doctors, meanwhile I was lacking in taking care of my children and husband; by the end of year 3 it all began to fall apart. My husband tried so hard, he put me in detox, then rehab but I wouldn't stay. I decided that living with my mother (who also used) would be a bettter choice. I was wrong. As the doctors caught on to what I was doing it became harder to obtain my pills. My mother suggested I write my own (she had been in trouble for doing this in the 90's) I of course out of desperation for my addiction did it. At the end of year 4 I find myself in a lot of trouble. I wrote 2 of my own prescriptions and less than a month later I was in jail.

I was sentenced to 1 year for violating a previous misdemeanor. Ultimately I detoxed alone in a jail cell with no family, no kids, no one who wanted to be around me. I was so mad at the world and everyone else for not trying to get me out. Looking back jail was the best thing for me at the time, because I wasn't going to help myself. After 7 months I was released and blessed enough to have my husband and kids waiting for me. I had made some serious changes within those walls. Aside from my husband and my kids I had lost everyone else. I lied, stole from friends and took advantage of anyone I could to suit my needs. Now here it is 2013 and I am 4 years clean smile I've managed to rebuild relationships that I thought I lost and regain trust that I don't deserve. I have an amazing job, my own home and car. The consequences of my actions ruined my marriage and I am now divorced. I overcome addiction on a daily basis because I know I am powerless over it, I have to make a decision everyday to admit that I am an addict and that today I choose not to use. I make that choice everyday, so far. I never would have gotten through it had I not had the few people who stuck with me. I suggest to anyone struggling with their addiction to seek help from anyone willing to give it. While sobriety can be a challenge the benefits are amazing. Today, I am a better person because im clean and I wish I could share that with some of the people I care about who are still struggling. I wish everyone reading this blessings and hope for a cleaner future.

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Categories: Family, Mother, Wife, Loss, Jail, Prescription Drugs, Recovery, Detox, Rehab


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