I wanted to be cool while showing I wasn't affriad of anything, so we would sneek alcohol drinks, then weed, and finally cocaine then herion which seemed like paradise. Herion would relax my every notion, and emotion. then 20 years later in prison I asked myself how did I end up here. I unlike most prisoners thought beyond the initial charge of Agg Robbery to what made me acceptable to this lifestyle rather than going another direction with my life. I was depressed, had small feelings about myself, because I believed I came out of a very poor unnurturing environment, because ma had too many children to be nurturing, so she concentrated on survival.
In my mother's time, one raised children different. so you spanked them, put them on punishment, and took something or gave restrictions. Growing up with closeness to alcohol, drugs, and criminal behaviorals being role-modeled before us made it easy and accessible to our young minds. Therefore, we emulated these behaviors which caused us pain and we checked out of normal society. so school.. so that we could pay for our adult lives we didn't do, so we struggled to fit in as adults except in prison. Now think about that?
Peace be with you