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My son CJ @ 28

My son CJ is a master certified Mercedez Benz tech and lost his job because he became addicted to herion. I think he is clean from it now but I believe he is on cocaine or something. I can no longer afford the drug test kits from the drug store to check him now and he has no health ins. He is very bright and hard working but he is lost in life. He lost his 13 year old brother when he was a junior in high school and within 2 weeks connected with a girl who he attached himself to. He managed to go away to UTI in Arizonia for a year and did so well that he graduated 2nd in his class. Mercedez picked him up and trained him at their cost for the next 5 years. During that time his girlfriend left him 4 times for another guy and came back after 6 months or so. The 3rd time she left is when he became addicted to heroin due to depression. He was able to hide this for over a year. During that break-up she would call him to come sleep with her and became pregnant. She moved in with us till she had the baby and left again when the baby was 4 months old for another man which devastated him. Now all she wants is child support and causing problems for him. She has another child with another man within 2 years. Something has happened to his will and is jobless after 2 years with another company as a manager. Was fired from there for drugs but tells me they fired him for hear say from other employees and tells me its not true(at the time). Right after his son was born he lost his father to cancer after previously battling Wegeners Granulomatosis. He is a broken person and they have suspened his drivers liscense for back child support. Its impossible to get things straightened out with the place that handles child support here in nj. You need a lawyer to fill out the paperwork to get things lowered due to income. meanwhile $125.00 a week has been added up and he owes over $4000. which is wrong but he cannot get that cleared up without a lawyers help which he cannot afford. He is a good person with very bad luck and no one to help him. There are warrants out for his arrest for child support and has been in jail twice for this. His whole life is a total mess because of drugs. I am affraid he may try to comment suicide. How can I get help for him?

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Categories: Cocaine, Heroin, Mother

Comments2

January 30, 2013 | Amanda

My heart goes out to u both but I’m sure it’s harder on u, sure u do most of the worrying. And I’m so sorry to hear he’s in a very dark place right now. I been in recovery for almost two years now but was a herion addict for three years but an addict most of my life. I wish there was something I could tell u to do to help him get clean, but that part has to be up to him. He has to want it more than he has ever wanted anything and not give up trust me he will want to it’s the hardest thing ever. U really can’t even imagine unless u been there. Just please don’t ever give up on him, don’t enable him but he needs u. Where he’s at in his life right now he will feel all alone and hate himself so bad for what he is and has done. He might need an in-patient rehab, there are some that are free but they always have a very long waiting list. Or depending on where he’s at in his addiction since he has done the really hard part getting off herion, there are always alot of n/a meeting and they are always free and very welcoming. U might even offer to take him. Trust me u need to try to help him outta the hole he has made for himself, when u have no job, no money, no license and feel like u have hurt and disappointed everyone it is so hard not to hate yourself to feel like it’s never gonna get better and try to take the easy way out. So please please stand by him and let him know u love him and your proud of even the small changes he makes. Make sure he knows he has u to fight this fight with him. And please always remember it’s not a choice u wouldn’t be mad if he had cancer!!! Trust me drug addiction is so horrible I know I will have to fight this the rest of my life and he will too. But it does get easier the longer u been clean the more u wanna stay clean. Hope some of my words help u some! My email is amandasmith41084@gmail.com if u ever need to chat my god bless u both and guide your son on the right path!

November 19, 2012 | Cody

My husband’s story is very similar to your son’s story. I hate to tell you, but you cannot help your son until he is ready for help. They typically do not want help until they have reach rock bottom, which most of us feel they have. You can suggest going to rehab or to start attending 12 Step meetings. Your son feels alone, and he feels that no one understands him. He will find understanding at rehab or the meetings. He cannot win this battle alone, he needs to attend meetings and find people that can relate to the inner struggles he faces everyday.
I tried everything to help my husband, but it took 4 trips to jail for him to finally hit rock bottom. He has graduated from a 21 day rehab, and attends 12 step meetings weekly.
I suggest that you also attend a local Al-Anon meeting. You will find that you are not alone.
Addiction is a family disease, so all members of the family need to get help. The Al-Anon and AA/NA programs will help the family find peace is such chaos.

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