Missing my Son
I am a Mother and a Grandmother to Twin girls. On Nov. 1, 2012, I lost my youngest son, age 35, to an overdose of Prescription Drugs. My son had kicked the habits on more than one occasion however, he went back again and died of this horrific disease. I don't remember too much of the day Jim died. I know my husband woke me with this news and I cried and then vomited a few times. I made two phone calls to two friends who I knew would come to our aid even with Hurricane Sandy still running around. In a very short time, my house was filled with Jim's friends as well as mine. We had no electricity and everyone sat with us in the freezing cold and comforted us. My older son arrived having left his wife and twin daughters at home. He too was devistated with this news. We all tried to figure out what had happened and had no answers. We know that Jim always thought if doctor prescribed all these meds then it was OK to take them. His autopsy told us a lot more then we proaby needed to know. The Medical Examiner told me that had he not had a drug habit and alcohol addiction, they would have declared his death a suicide. However, since he was an addict which clearly showed in his Brain, liver, & kidneys, the cause of death was Drug Intoxication. In the last few months many things have come to light that we were not aware of...He was taking a heavy cocktail of prescription drugs. Pain killers, Benzo's, sleeping medications and drinking along with all these meds. The readers need to know that just because a Dr. prescribes a medication it does not mean you can take them all and wash them down with booze! Jim was a wonderful human being with a great sense of humor. He is missed by all who knew him and many blame themselves for not doing anything to help him. I used to joke around when I would see the commercials on TV about adult children living at home and doing drugs. Here we were with a 35 year old son not working and not supporting himself while living in our basement. His beautiful nieces will never remember their Uncle Jimmy and how much he loved them. His brother, Dad and myself will never get over this loss. We all feel as if we have failed him in some way yet we know in our hearts that we did everything we could to help him.
We miss him so much and I stay up half the night most nights crying all alone. We all try to be strong for each other but, it difficult at best. We miss him...we miss his great sense of humor and the sound of his laugh. By the way, 10 days after Jim passsed away, my Mom died. She was 84 years old and had been an alcoholic all of her life. She never knew her grandson died. We saw no point in telling her since her days were numbered. I choose to believe that God does things for a reason and he took Jim 10 days before my Mom for a reason. My mother could be difficult at best and Jim was always able to handle her with a smile on his face and a laugh to share with her....We are sure when she got to her final resting in heaven, Jim had lots of explaining to do....I can hear her now....:Jimmy, what did you do now...what are you doing here"....The little giggle I get in my heart every time I think of the two of them watching us from above.
This is a terrible horrific disease and it must be stopped! No families should ever have to go thru this and feel the pain that my family has endured over the past 3 months! People, if you need help, get it. Don't wait...you may not have a tomorrow in your future.
Oh, did I mention that almost one year to the day of Jim's death, he had set fire to our home. We all came very close to dying in our sleep. Our son had started a fire in his room and since he was on the bottom floor, the smoke was coming in thru the vents! Imagine..killing your entire family while you are stoned or loaded!!