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The Hope Share

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Life as we all once new it

Hi my name is alex  when i was younger i had adhd i had it bad enough that the doctor perscribed me adderall when i was 7 years old then i started hearing voices they got worse my mom never noticed it eventally i couldent handle the voices and ended up hanging myself as a result of it i dont remember mutch after the age on 10 i am now 17 years old and for the last 4 years i have struggled with addiction to painkillers and weed my addiction got its start when i was 13 i had always had trouble fitting in cause of my brain injury i can only remember one friend when i was young and we grew up with eachother from 3rd grade her name is kyra she was always their for me she got though the fact that i did not remember her after my brain injury she was the only friend that stuck with me so i would spend almost every day with her so my addiction started with her. We did everything with eachother so we were both 13 when we drank for the first time i didn't really like drinking but i did it fearing i wouldn't fit in then after about 3 months of drinking every now and then we knew some people that smoked weed so we tried that i was hooked the first time i ever smoked it i loved the high it made me feel like everything was ok my brain injury never happend then from their my addiction to weed started. Eventally that high wasn't enough anymore by that time i was 14 and 1/2 so i tried pain killers i was out of my mind i felt numb to everything so anything could happen like being arrested, and i could give a crap cause i knew when i got out in the morning i could go buy more pills my life fell down a endless pit after that i got arrested 3 more times after that 2nd time selling pills 3rd time selling weed and pills 4th time theft of three hundred dollars and run away the 4th time i knew i was going to be gone for awhile i was in a bank cashing a check from my work. I got the cash went to walk out the door and all i heard was a loud CLINK! of a door locking then after that i woke up to that sound i went to bed hearing that sound and it ended after 3 months in the youth corecctional center after that i went to Dakota Boys & Girls Ranch in Minot ND i was there for 9 months geting help with my addiction after i had been there for 7 months when i read the Grand Forks Hearld on the secound page was a picture of a guy i was pretty sure i knew so i read more and after i finished that i layed the paper down and was in tears one of my friends had died and one was in a coma that changed eveything that i had been hearing for the past 7 months i hope no one that reads this has to go through that to change your mind after 2 more months of treatment i left and went to job corps in Minot ND and i relapesed worst word ever for some people to me that is the best word ever i needed to relapese to relize a couple things one that i dident even like being high anymore and two that my life went to crap when i did this before so i left job corps and went home after i got home i went to AA every day maybe 2 times a day and i have now been sober 6 months and 5 days and everyday my mind gets clearer and i hope this time it lasts but i take it day by day and if i feel like useing drugs i say i can do it tomarrow but remember this by the time tomarrow comes its today.

Thank You I Hope This Helps Atleast One Person

Alex

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Categories: Alcohol, Friend, Loss, Jail, Marijuana, Recovery, AA

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